I must admit that I have a problem. I don't know how to stay away from the ocean. I really do love it, you know. But I must hate it on principle.

Originally posed April 11, 2007.
[reposted because of this]

Third day back from the beach, and I'm still hearing the waves.

The problem with vacations is that they're never quite enough. No matter how much time you spend "unwinding", you always want more. more. more. and more.

I thought half a week of frolicking would get me on my feet, ready to tackle the work week. But instead, I find myself daydreaming of the ocean. My beloved ocean. My beloved Moalboal.

And now, I can't work. I can't even get my mind to focus. All I really want is to lie down on the sand as if there's no tomorrow.

Sigh.

When's the next road trip?

I can't seem to stop ranting. What else is new?


long day
March 7, 2007, 10:41 pm

I'm so darned exhausted. It's been a very long day.

I so badly need a bottle of beer. But unfortunately, I can't afford even that one single indulgence because I need all of my wits to navigate through every item in my task list. Urgh!

I promise I'll unwind this weekend. Booze on saturday, beach on Sunday, and everything in between. :-)

Sounds like a plan.

Anyone interested?


24 hours and counting
March 9, 2007, 6:07 am

i'm so exhausted.

the physical exhaustion, i can stand. it's the mental exhaustion that's killing me. (i want to scream, but i obviously can't. so, i'm blogging instead. sigh. story of my life.)

i so badly need a beer right now.

or a hug. a hug will do.

wake up, baby. wake up.


Where did the week go?
March 9, 2007, 11:01 pm

Is it Friday already? Where did the week go? I was so wrapped up in work that I hardly even noticed that the rest of the world has moved on. Urgh!

You know what I need? A long vacation.

It's been months since I've had a good rest. I want to be able to sleep for 24 hours straight, without stressing about all the other tasks on my plate. I just want to lie down and rid my mind of its present chaos. I don't need a trip abroad or a fancy vacation. I just want to stay in a hotel (any hole in the wall will do) and sleep. Sleep without tossing and turning. Sleep without my cellphone close to my ear. Sleep without setting the alarm. Sleep without preparing for the morning after. Just sleep a dreamless sleep. Just sleep.


tired, hungry, and bitchy
March 10, 2007, 6:37 pm

My weekend plans didn't materialize, after all. I'm stuck at home, trying to work on some backlog. 'Trying' being the operative word.

My mind keeps drifting. My stomach keeps grumbling. My mouth keeps yawning. And my body just keeps craving for bed.

*stretch, stretch*

Oh, we have a photo shoot tonight. But I begged off. I'm sending Mark instead. I'm just not up to it.

Originally posted March 6, 2007.
[reposted because of this]

I was just cleaning the inbox of my phone when I saw this message from Jojo dated Sunday, March 4, 2007:

"How could the moon tonight be so mocking in its pulchritude?"

I don't know why I didn't see it before. Must have been buried in the pile of junk sms I get daily. Still, a word such as pulchritude? It should have jumped right out at me.

I don't know anyone who uses pulchritude in daily language. Do you? We all probably know only one guy who does. Hahaha.

Oh, come to think of it, there was this one girl...the genius wordsmith who brought us such wonders as efflorence and virtuasity. Hahahah.

Jojo's right, though. The moon was beautiful these past few nights.

So many things have happened since this post. Jojo is now happily in Singapore, a full time scholar at NUS. Good for you, Jo.

Originally posted March 6, 2007.
[reposted because of this]

Just had a talk with Jojo an hour ago. Our favorite TB was a little short-tempered with me. Apparently, he's very unhappy with work and was just looking for an outlet. Told him to get a massage and then some. Heheheh.

Anyway, he's decided to leave his job by next year.

I say, good for him. At long last. He's done all he could. It's time to move on.

Jo, I promise I'll support your political endeavors. We're all behind you. Jojo for president! Yey! President of the Mae Anne fan club! ...joke, joke, joke! :-)

Gen, unsay update sa imong love life? ;-)

Originally posted March 5, 2007.
[reposted because of this]

Armand and Genee. I think there's something there.

There had been signs, you know. Little signs like Armand giving Gen affectionate back rubs. Armand looking for Gen all the time. Armand and Gen eating together. Gen pretending to be oblivious. (as if! heheheh)

Plus, our friend's blooming. She went to the office in a sleeveless black blouse today. And, get this, she actually accessorized! Can you believe it?

Oh, yeah. There's definitely something there.

Hmmm...

Originally posted March 4, 2007.
[reposted because of this]

Destiny is eccentric, elusive, unfathomable. And while I do not have the wisdom to divine the infinity of his facets, I do not believe that he is as resolute and as unrelenting as he is often painted to be.

Destiny's book may be absolute. But its countless plots and stories are not. The words are constantly changing, shifting in form, conforming to your will. It is your will that carves those words. And it is your will that ultimately shapes Destiny.

Love, though it first and foremost belongs to Desire, is also Destiny's.

Love may have been born in the realm of Desire. But it is bathed and washed, groomed and raised, in the realm of Destiny. For, after all, Destiny's hands extend far beyond his own garden to the inner crevices of all his siblings's dwellings.

But while Desire may prefer to keep you in his/her/its web to play his/her/its complex games, Destiny urges you to move on.

"Love is a choice," he whispers to your ear, though you are far too human and insignificant to hear. "Choose," he mutters as he turns another page.

Destiny has no will. But he holds in his book the myriad textures and flavors and echoes of our will. And Destiny understands that ultimately, he is no more than the offspring of our choices.

PS: Musings above are based on the characters created by Gaiman. Underlying meaning, once deciphered, is obviously meant for someone-we-all-know-and-love.

Originally posted by Bon, March 2, 2007.
[reposted because of this]

At 27, I finally know how it feels to be "busted" or "basted"? What's the appropriate word? Turned down? Ewan.

I realized that guys are really good actors.

This, my dear friends, is the most liberating letter I have recieved since I got the acceptance letter from U.P. Diliman. ;-)

Hey,

Yap im very happy here, baon nga lang sa trabaho diri. Honestly i dont know how to react or reply to this message. Thanks for being so honest :) Siguro its been over sa akin for a long time now. I`ll be honest with you kay honest man kaayo ka nga bata :P (hehehehe, joke lang po).........siguro wala na in me yung feeling na yun. Kahit tiny siguro wala at this point. But it would be great if we can stay as good friends pa rin.

Actually, medyo complicated sad ako love life for the past few months and i just had it simplified or siguro avoided the situation. Labo ko pre...hehehe.

I still think Bon and Mark would make a great couple. There's so much chemistry there, I swear! Hahahaha. Let this be my last will and testament: If I die an early death, Bonita Marie Cabiles should marry Mark Austin Ladanan.

Daan Pa Lagi Ko!
Originally posted by Bon, March 2, 2007.
[reposted because of this]

This is the work of the devil...

JR: ingon si manoi wat, "kabaw na ko, magbinuotan na ko kay bons!" ingon ko, "ngano man?" ang iyang tubag: "para maapil ko sa chismiss!" unya nihirit dayon si mark..."pare, di man kinahanglan."

*****************

Loose Translation:
(postcript added by Y for the benefit of our English readers)

The king says to his subjects, "I will be a more benevolent deity from now on." And his bewildered minions ask, "Why?" To that, the god replied, "So that the powerful witch will grant me more spells." At this point, the king's brother says, "But there's no need!" The end.

let may say it again: I MISS YOU, BON!!!

Originally posted by Bon, March 2, 2007.
[reposted because of this]

It's past 10 p.m. and I haven't packed anything.

My tent, personal floating device, first aid kit and climbing equipment are scattered in my room.

To borrow Yan-Yan's statement: What was I thinking?

My arms are still a little numb from the Single Rope Technique Practice the whole day. The rope burns on my right hand make it difficult to wash myself when taking a bath. There are scratches on my arms. I'm not really sure if these are from the tree I kept on hugging or the ladder they had to put up to "rescue" me.

Again. What was I thinking?

Adventure . . . I came back to Cebu a year ago looking for one without knowing that I would have it coming everyday. The thrill of the unknown. The adrenaline pumping, heart racing thought of the possibility for misadventure.

It is finding trust and confidence in myself when I'm hanging by a single rope and have to make sure if I'm doing it right. It is the "high" after pushing myself to the limits, getting irritated with myself mid-way and congratulating myself for a wonderful attempt. It is embracing challenges and enjoying every minute of it.

So what the hell if I don't reach the top of the freaking drop? What the hell if it'll take me half a day to paddle through the vast expanse of horizontal caves?

Life remains wonderful! We make it beautiful.

And I have to start packing. Puerto Princessa is waiting.

Why does everyone keep asking me if Xyzha and I are friends again? My answer remains the same: Xyzha and I are not friends; we're sisters. And no friendship can ever compare to that. There's no need for apologies, for forgiveness, for a major maalala-mo-kaya-moment. We're sisters. And that should explain it all.

Originally posted March 1, 2007.
[reposted because of this]

Let me take this opportunity to blog about one of my biggest fans, my gorgeous baby sister, Xyzha.

The chocolate cake she gave me yesterday as an anniversary gift was enough of a surprise. But an even bigger surprise came about a year ago -- her shocking admission (confession, if you will) that she (sort of) envies my relationship with Mark. I believe her exact words were, "Te, if I'm gonna have a relationship, I want it to be just like you and Mark."

Allow me to contextualize that statement.

Xyzha was Mark's biggest detractor. She detested him, and during our first years together, she was vocally campaigning against my relationship (though not as much as my mom - hehehe). Her reasons are her own. But suffice it to say that during those rough years, almost everyone in our family did not take kindly to my decision to (er, uhm) co-habit with Mark.

And now, fast forward to today. Mark is everybody's favorite. Xyzha's included.

How he did it, I have no idea. He's just being himself, I suppose. And I certainly can't take credit for his natural likeability.

The point of this blog entry is this -- It was never easy for Mark and me. It was never easy for Mark. But after everything has been said and done, we both proved them wrong.

That being said, I would like to thank my beautiful sister (who, by the way, loves to tell everybody that she looks like me...puhleeze! hehehe) for the cake, for the support, and most importantly, for the love.

Mark and I love you very much, Xy. And you know that we will always be here for you, no matter what. :-)