Originally posted March 6, 2007.
[reposted because of this]

I was just cleaning the inbox of my phone when I saw this message from Jojo dated Sunday, March 4, 2007:

"How could the moon tonight be so mocking in its pulchritude?"

I don't know why I didn't see it before. Must have been buried in the pile of junk sms I get daily. Still, a word such as pulchritude? It should have jumped right out at me.

I don't know anyone who uses pulchritude in daily language. Do you? We all probably know only one guy who does. Hahaha.

Oh, come to think of it, there was this one girl...the genius wordsmith who brought us such wonders as efflorence and virtuasity. Hahahah.

Jojo's right, though. The moon was beautiful these past few nights.

So many things have happened since this post. Jojo is now happily in Singapore, a full time scholar at NUS. Good for you, Jo.

Originally posted March 6, 2007.
[reposted because of this]

Just had a talk with Jojo an hour ago. Our favorite TB was a little short-tempered with me. Apparently, he's very unhappy with work and was just looking for an outlet. Told him to get a massage and then some. Heheheh.

Anyway, he's decided to leave his job by next year.

I say, good for him. At long last. He's done all he could. It's time to move on.

Jo, I promise I'll support your political endeavors. We're all behind you. Jojo for president! Yey! President of the Mae Anne fan club! ...joke, joke, joke! :-)

Originally posted February 13, 2007.
[reposted because of this]

why do we always end up talking about TB when we we're together? i don't think we miss him that much. or do we?

thank you, Gela, for a wonderful meal at Oh George. the jambalaya rice and pork chops with butter and herbs were superb. yum, yum.

Originally posted February 11, 2007.
[reposted because of this]

I meant to paste the transcript of my entire conversation with TB here, but he begged me not to. I rarely give in to his wishes, but this time, I thought it prudent to respect his privacy. After all, we might have a future president in our midst. (I can so see Genee's arched eyebrows.)

But this one, I must (MUST) post here:

"I have not informed Bons yet in consideration of her deep feelings for me. I know I am the object of her utmost hormonal affections."

Quote. Unquote.

For an update on TB's love life, click here.

I wonder what happened to this woman. Jo, buhi pa sya? Buhi pa mo? What's the scoop?

Originally posted February 11, 2007.
[reposted because of this]

The impossible has happened: TB is in love!

He says he's finally met the woman he's going to marry. For TB to say that is quite something. For TB to talk of marriage or anything related to the subject is everything.

Of course, no one believes him but me. Gen says that's always been my role. ["What role?" I dared ask. "To be the hopeless romantic," was the flippant reply.]

I leave it up to TB to begin the long and excruciating task of introducing this girl (someone who shares the name "Marie" with a certain person I know) to us, his doting fans. Ahem.

When I asked him to describe this particular Marie (forget the other one, who, at this time, is probably bawling in agony - or so TB thinks), this was what he had to say:

"Well, she's fair-skinned. She's a cross between Daisy and Mae in terms of physical appearance. She exudes confidence. She's funny. Laughs a lot. Easy to be with. Got an MBA. She works for ***. I'm very comfortable with her. There were no uneasy or awkward moments."

Quote. Unquote.

My follow-up question: "Which quality stands out from the rest? What i'm trying to ask is...what makes you think that she might be the one?"

His reply: "Well, my gauge is my own reaction. I had this weird feeling as I've said. This could have been brought about by something within her. Probably an impulse, a reaction. But, I cannot locate it in the general scheme of things at the moment."

Pause.

"Maybe when we get to know each other more, my feelings for her would probably unravel itself."

Quote. Unquote.

I really am genuinely happy for you, Jo.

We all are, aren't we? Er, Bons?

Er...why do we have to hide his identity again? TB is Jojo. But you already know that, don't you? ;-)

Originally posted July 19, 2006
[reposted because of this]

Another one for our book...At the rate we're going, it's bound to be a bestseller. hahahahha.

Me: bon was here last night. we spent hours trying to understand why girls are always going gaga over you. i think we finally have our answers. hahahahahha

TB: Try. Unsa man inyong answers?

Me: well, the original theory was that you're inherently attracted to psycho girls, di ba? because without fail, all your girls go through this annoying melodrama cum tragedy in their lives, etc. but then, we realized that you're not attracted to a certain type of woman. rather, it's because of your personality that women transform into some sort of psychotic monster. let me explain...

TB: TB Demystified? Deconstructed?

Me: deconstructing the mythology of TB. bwahahahahahahahahaha

TB: Ataya. There is no myth.

Me: Anyway, let me explain our methodology. Our new theory is substantiated by a comparative analysis - You versus a control variable, MK.

Me: okay...u and MK are similar in the sense that u fuck around. Fucking around, in this context, is defined as sleeping with strangers, picking up women, penetrating vortices of all forms and shapes

TB: Okay, so, where's the theory there?

Me: MK is just as sexually active and just as undiscerning in fucking as you. But he has never had a woman cling to him the way your women cling to you. He doesn't go through life worrying about pregnancy scares and suicide threats. Why?

Me: The reason is simple: he has no qualms about fucking. When he meets a woman, he makes it very obvious that he's only into her for the sex. Nothing more. What you see is what you get. Pang-iyot ra gyud siya.

Me: You, on the other hand....You present urself as a friend, a gentleman, a person who cares. I don't think you consciously try to impress women. But that's just what you are; that's who you are.

TB: Ataya. Hmm. I'm listening.

Me: MK is a fucker. TB is a fucker who cares.

TB: Go on.

Me: That's why women fall for you. That's why girls would rather die than let you go. Because in losing you, they are not only losing a sexual partner. They are losing a good friend. One who listens, one who cares. Do you get my point?

Me: So in conclusion, the problem is not your women. The problem is you. hahahahahhahaha. joke.

TB: Yes, I get your point. They are the problem. They can't see through me.

Me: amaw

Me: Bitaw, perhaps you need to be more detached. Maybe you need to be a little colder...at least as far as your lovers are concerned.

TB: Detached from where?

Me: Ang-ang manguyab man gud ka. Not in the real sense of the word ha. But you become emotionally involved with your partner.

TB: Cold baya ko. Leah didn't have the kindest of words for me.

Me: hahahahahahahahahah. But still, even if u had no intentions of committing to leah, you still became good friends, di ba? She even called you her bestfriend.

Me: Well, on the other hand, Bons theorized that you looooovvveeee the attention of psycho bitches. It makes you feel needed somehow, makes you feel alive.

TB: Sayop si Bons. It's just that I feel that I can be of help.

Me: sus, superhero complex

TB: I can see through girls man gud.

Me: how come u never saw through MA?

TB: I know when a woman is troubled emotionally, or insecure, etc.

Me: on the contrary, i think you're very stupid when it comes to reading women

TB: Strong man si MA. I can see through their weaknesses rather.

Me: so? it's not your problem anymore. let them deal with it. unless ganahan ka na i-stalk na sad ka? hahahahahaha

TB: You want me to do that to Bon? To be cold? Assuming.

TB: interesting topic we have. But, I have to go now. Got a meeting at 4. Byers.

(to be continued...)

Originally posted on June 5, 2006.
[reposted because of this]

It' TB time again. I love quoting TB. He's such a character, isn't he?
(note: certain parts edited or deleted for obvious reasons)

TB: I want to post the mushy letters I made for MA during those times nga naglisod ko sa akong feelings kay uyab na sila ni RH.

TB: Shit, makahilak ko reading it. I never actually got to give it to her. I was about to, but I got back my senses right on time. Thank god. Nawala nalang pud after.

Me: What? You're probably the most pathetic person I've met!

TB: Pathetic? Not really. Let's just say stuck. I was the most stuck person.

TB: I have this MA box. I won't dare open it just to get that letter. It might open up old feelings. YUCKKKKK

Me: Seriously? You have an MA box? Seriously?!?!?!?!?

TB: Why that reaction? No, Yan. Just a baul.

Me: What's inside the box?

TB: Stuff that she gave me. Letters, notes, books, prayers, beads, daghan.

Me: I sure hope that the box is a metaphor. Coz if you actually do have an MA box, God, there's nothing I or anyone can do anymore. You're as good as gone.

TB: Ataya. I don't actually have a box. Nagkalat lang sila sa akong old stuff. God, No, Yan. I don't have a box. Unsay siya importante sa akong kinabuhi? Har, har.

Me: Wait, wait, wait...she gave you letters?

TB: Not the long & winding ones. Notes. Just notes.

Me: What? Let's see them!

TB: Ataya. I won't subject her to ridicule. I owe her that.

TB: Oh, & prayers. A prayer, actually. You want the prayer?

Me: Hala sige para masunog tang tanan

TB: Pero bato naman ko ron.

Me: Hahahaha. You're the most emotional guy I know. You can never be bato.

TB: I guess burning my MA box would be a good start, noh? What do you think, psychologist?

Me: We could sift through all your extra baggage together.

TB: Ataya. And analyze? Make a narrative? Hmm. Why not?

Me: Er...

TB: Make a narrative about how not to fall in love? Ang background music dayon kay "ako'y may natutunan sa aking karanasan, mali ang magmahal sa isang kaibigan...."

Me: How not to fall in love? But being in love is a fucking great feeling! It's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all...you know, all that crap, all that jazz. (Playing devil's advocate)

TB: Ah, crap. It's better to have loved and fucked. But, it is even better to not have loved but fucked just the same.

(response censored for excessive profanity...gag, gag, gag)

(later...in another part of the galaxy...)

TB: Pare, tama ba yun? Better to have loved and lost daw..... etc.

Me: "It's better to have loved and fucked. But, it is even better to not have loved but fucked just the same." Do you agree?

BD: Casual sex is always better, pare. I learned it at a later age nalang pare na sex without commitment is better than anything else. Pero it's just me, pare. Hehehehe.

TB: It definitely is better. Welcome to the club. Do we have to form an association or something?

Me: Na hala. Just as long as you don't contract a disease or anything.

TB: Wala may STD si D. Gidugo lang, ok?

(long pause)

TB: Aw, dili ko sure.

(short pause)

TB: Her bloody efflorence and our encounter confabulates me no end

(shocked silence)

Me: You amaze me! Grabe!

TB: I've tested the limits of my humanity so, I guess, my treshold for a perversion is high

(end. cue credits. cue psycho sound track.)



Sigh. TB, oh, TB. What will we do with you?